Metalocalypse Season 3
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Season 3: 2009-2010
# Title Original Airdate Production Code
39 \"RenovationKlok\" November 8, 2009 (2009-11-08) 301
Dethklok faces life without Offdensen, who has passed away as a result of his injuries at the hands of the Metal Masked Assassin. Mordhaus is now a floating fortress and is undergoing heavy renovations to repair the damage from the Revengencers attack, but due to the band\'s inability to manage their finances they find themselves in a financial crisis. The band plans the most expensive concert in history to herald their return, but run afoul of their record label\'s president\'s son, who wishes to get revenge for an incident at the beginning of Dethklok\'s career, in which Nathan Explosion punched him for making fun of death metal. The concert begins as planned, but the CEO\'s son literally pulls the plug on Dethklok and refuses to let them continue until they renegotiate their contract on terms much more favorable to the label. Just as Nathan prepares to sign the new contract, Charles Offdensen appears, apparently back from the dead, and tells Dethklok that they should continue with the show and that he will take care of the contract. After the band finishes their concert, Offdensen explains that he had himself pronounced dead at the scene (at the end of Season 2), and that there was something he had to do, and that he will tell Dethklok about it when the time is right.
Guest voices: Scott Ian, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai
Songs included: \"Bloodmoney\"
40 \"TributeKlok\" November 15, 2009 (2009-11-15) 302
Facing public scrutiny following brash statements made by Murderface at a press conference, Dethklok decides to lift their worldwide ban on Dethklok tribute bands. While exercising their right to approve or disapprove of any tribute act the band discovers that Toki has been posing as Skwisgaar in a tribute band called Thunderhorse. Trying to distance themselves from celebrity status and re-connect with normal people, Dethklok decides to join Thunderhorse.
Guest voices: Slash, Scott Ian, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai
Songs included: \"Organic Destruction,\" \"Face Fisted,\" and \"Thunderhorse\"
41 \"DethHealth\" November 22, 2009 (2009-11-22) 303
After a near-death experience, Dethklok must face the brutality of going to a doctor. They attempt to get good checkup results by cleansing their bodies by drinking bleach, giving Nathan horrible nightmares about his teeth. Nathan visits a dentist while the rest of Dethklok goes to the doctor. During the visit, Murderface accidentally ejaculates on a doctor\'s face. Afterwards, the checkup results show that Pickles has a terminal illness. Murderface then confronts the doctor about his experience, and finds that the doctor is flirting with him, establishing that the doctor is gay and thus nullifying any possibility that Murderface is gay. Nathan finally gets his teeth worked on by a suicidal dentist. More lab results come back and reveal that Pickles is not dying as he switched his urine sample with Murderface who switched his pee with Skwisgaar who switched his pee with Nathan who switched his pee with Toki who switched his pee with his cat, which is actually dead. The band entombs the cat in a gigantic feline statue and places it next to the Great Pyramids of Egypt. The sand gives way under the enormous metal figure and it falls over on top of the pyramids, crushing them. Finally, Nathan befriends his dentist and goes on a hunting trip with him. Then the dentist says, \"Check this out,\" before placing his shotgun in his own mouth and blowing his head off.
Guest voices: Ace Frehley
Songs included: \"A Bloody Mess\" and \"Hamburger Time\"
42 \"Dethmas\" December 6, 2009 (2009-12-06) 304
While Murderface works with Dick Knubbler on a Christmas special, the Dethklok Moms appear at Mordhaus to spend the holidays. Murderface\'s special, backed by the Christian Church, ends up a disaster due to the combination of the band\'s mothers\' alcoholism and the return of Dr. Rockzo. 
Guest voices: Grutle Kjellson, Arve Isdal and Herbrand Larsen of Enslaved
Songs included: \"The Cyborg Slayers\"
43 \"FatherKlok\" December 13, 2009 (2009-12-13) 305
After many paternity lawsuits, Skwisgaar decides that he should find his father. Several thousand men came forward, claiming to be Skwisgaar\'s father as they had sex with his mother, but DNA testing finds no match. Meanwhile, much to Pickle\'s jealousy, Murderface steps up to be a father figure to Skwigaar. He then receives a message from his mother, Surfetta, saying she found his father. Skwisgaar quits the band and moves back to Sweden. There, he discovers that Surfetta was referring to his new stepfather, as opposed to his biological father. He becomes annoyed at their constant making out, and eventually snaps. He shoves his stepfather onto a glass table, shattering it. Back at Mordhaus, the band seems to crumble without having Skwisgaar there. They decide to go to Sweden and get Skwisgaar back. In Sweden, Skwisgaar apologizes to his stepfather, and begins working in a lumberyard with him. Later on that night, Skwisgaar is at the pub when the other members of the band walk in. He says he is not coming back, and that he is finally happy. Before they leave, Nathan tells him that he is a god and he won\'t be able to live with regular people. When going home that night with his stepfather, they walk in the house to find Surfetta having sex with two men. Skwisgaar\'s stepfather runs away, and when Skwisgaar feels that he is without a dad again, he runs into the forest. He realizes that what Nathan said is true, that he isn\'t a regular person, but he is a guitar god. He runs back to the band, saying he\'s coming with them. Murderface begins acting like a father again, and told Pickles \"Get out, you belong in a garbage can,\" much like Pickle\'s real father told him many years ago. Pickles begins to beat up Murderface, and Toki joins in. The episode ends with Skwisgaar returning to the band.
Guest voice: Matt Pike of High on Fire
Songs included: \"I\'m No Man (I\'m\'s a God)\"
44 \"Fertilityklok\" September 26, 2010 (2010-09-26)  306
After playing in Tokyo, Dethklok kidnaps Toki for his birthday party. The band supplies him with many women to have sex with, but Toki declines and instead begins the search for a soul mate. Using a dating service his search goes horribly wrong, and in the end he has sex with all the woman the rest of the band gave him on his birthday. Murderface, fed up with his sexual performance, bets Skwisgaar that he can have more sex than him. Murderface loses the bet, ends up with a bent and broken penis, and faces a sexual harassment suit after harassing a female Kloketeer.
Guest voices: Kirk Hammett of Metallica, Mark Brooks, Frankie Ingrassia, Andy Richter and Laraine Newman
Songs included: \"Biological Warfare\" and \"I Am Toki\"
45 \"Dethsiduals\" October 4, 2010 (2010-10-04) 307
Toki and Murderface are put on probation after their frivilous lawsuit against the other band members regarding residuals is dismissed and their contribution to the band is called into question. While on probation, Toki and Murderface act as celebrity guest judges on \"American Super Talent Havers\" to make some extra money. On the show, they judge a nu metal band known as Get Thee Hence and like the group so much that they decide to start their own record label called MurderTooth Records and sign Get Thee Hence as their first and only band. While Toki and Murderface learn the horrors of managing a band, Pickles, Nathan, and Skwisgaar are unhappy with their new 47 songs because it lacks negativity. In the end, the band realizes that they liked the band the way it was and reconcile. The episode ends with a Get Thee Hence concert where an angry audience rushes the stage and attacks the band.
Guest voices: Brann Dailor, Brent Hinds, and Troy Sanders of Mastodon, Ace Frehley
Songs included: \"Why Can\'t Everything Be Easy?\"
46 \"Rehabklok\" October 10, 2010 (2010-10-10) 308
After an accident at a show in Mozambique that seemed to be caused by Pickle\'s drinking and cost millions of dollars in damage, Pickles is forced to go to rehabilitation. While in rehab, the band replaces Pickles at practice with a high tech, sentient drum machine named X2P1158 which is inexplicably armed with a 10,000 megaton self detonation device. At the rehab center, Malevolent Creation, Pickles is rehabilitated through steps 1 through 11 leaving only step 12 which requires him to forgive his brother whom he hates because he blames his brother for his drinking. When Pickles returns to the band, he discovers that he has been replaced by X2P1158 until he finishes the 12th step and forgives his brother. Pickles forgives his brother while at dinner at Outback Steakhouse, who immediately extorts 5 million dollars from him. When the band informs X2P1158 who they have recently come to dislike, the drum machine go haywire and kidnaps the band, locking them in a van and starts its self detonation sequence while attached to the vehicle. Pickles, deciding that to save the band, drinks alcohol and consequently gains a Popeye-like strength which allows him to bust out of the room that X2P1158 has locked him in. Pickles saves the band, destroying X2P1158 in the process.
Guest voices: Kirk Hammett, Mark Hamill, Jack Black and Kyle Gass
Songs included: \"Reborn\", \"Gotta Get Clean\", \"Saddest Day in the World\", \"Way to be Saved\" and \"Danger\"
47 \"Dethzazz\" October 17, 2010 (2010-10-17) 309
Toki tries to turn the life of his rock n\' roll clown friend, Dr. Rockzo, around by investing Dethklok\'s vacation fund into the ultimate Zazz Blammymatazz reunion. Everything goes smoothly until the media peers into Rockzo\'s past and discovers the clowns darkest secret, the secret that tore his career apart, the secret love of a girl he couldn\'t have. Rockzo disappears from the public, when we learn Toki CAN\'T live without the clown, he recedes into a dark catatonia and Dethklok realizes that in order to save their band mate, they must save the clown.
Guest voices: Laraine Newman
Songs included: \"Atomic Clown\" & \"Dory\"
48 \"Doublebookedklok aka \"The Dead Man\"\" October 24, 2010 (2010-10-24) 310
Growing annoyed with Offdensen\'s neglecting them in favor of work, Dethklok unwittingly double-books a gig in both Israel and Syria, putting the entire world in danger. The Tribunal initiates its \"Falconback Project,\" and it is revealed that Offdensen witnessed Mr. Selatcia brainwashing General Crozier in \"Black Fire Upon Us\" and may know not only of the Falconback Project, but Selatcia\'s true identity. In the final scenes Offdensen is hinted to have some connection to Selatcia and is revealed to be holding Edgar Jomfru prisoner for his own plans.
Guest voices: Dave Grohl, Kirk Hammett, Mark Hamill, Malcolm McDowell, Victor Brandt and Laraine Newman
Songs included: \"The Beginning\"
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